Grammie

My grandmother passed away on Monday after struggling with dementia for years. Although the whole situation is not ideal, it is comforting to me to know that she’s no longer suffering. Watching her struggle with a horrible disease was difficult because it seemed like every time I saw her, she was losing valuable pieces of what made her “her”.

There was never any doubt in my mind that my Grammie loved my sisters and I, in fact, I think I can count on one hand the number of times she called me by my first name. Instead, it was always pet names like sweetheart or honeysuckle rose. When we lived halfway across the country, I would look forward to getting cards from her, which were sometimes sent just to tell us that she loved and missed us. I also remember patiently waiting for my Mom to get off the phone with her every Sunday so that I could talk to Grammie long distance. She was an attentive listener and gave wonderful advice for any problem you might be having at that particular moment. When we visited my grandparents in Pennsylvania every summer, I remember fixing lunches with her, going out onto the carport of their little house, and reading for hours at the picnic table. In fact, I think she is one of the reasons why I love to read so much.

When we moved to Pennsylvania, I was happy to suddenly be in close proximity to my grandparents. I spent many evenings in their little apartment, chatting, doing homework and baking with Grammie. Her welsh cookies and apple pies were to die for, and tea breaks were used as a time to enjoy them and catch up on whatever was going on in our lives. She was an incredible support system: taking me to get my first real make-up; attending countless numbers of band, chorus and orchestra concerts; listening to trivial high school boyfriend drama; and always praising accomplishments. Grammie loved to shop and was always happy to make a trip to Talbots.

After my Grandpop passed away, it was clear that her health was slowly beginning decline. She moved from her two bedroom apartment to a smaller room and gave up driving her Buick. We still went out shopping or to lunch, but not as frequently. Once college started, our visits became fewer, but she was always happy to see me and eager to hear about the latest happenings. One of our last outings together alone was when I took her wedding dress shopping, and she told me everything looked beautiful. It was so special that she was able to attend our wedding.

As the dementia really took hold of her over the past two years, she still continued to smile and laugh when we came to visit; and, she was always singing whatever song happened to be in her head at that moment. When my sisters brought their children to visit her, her eyes would light up and she would watch their every move- she loved being a great-grandmother. When Adam and I were sad after saying goodbye to our first dog, she offered to buy Griffin. Last Easter, my mother and I attended sunrise service with her and she held my hand throughout the sermon. These little things made it clear that beneath the lost memory, she was still the same Grammie.

The relationship that I had with my grandmother was a special one, and one that will not be forgotten. I will miss her terribly, but I can only hope that she is in a better place having a tea break, eating a welsh cookie and reading a book right now.