Bilingual?

At our premarital counseling sessions, the minister that married us spoke about a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I meant to buy the book and read it, but unfortunately I don't have much time to read for fun. Luckily, someone bought it for us as part of a wedding gift, and I was able to read it over Christmas and New Years because I didn't have class.

The book explains the 5 different love languages that people can have, and it also explains that many times couples do not speak the same language. This can lead to your "love tank" being empty. It describes the different love languages and how to decipher which is your primary language as well as your spouse's primary language. It also offers ways to turn your spouse's primary language into your secondary language. If it sounds confusing, buy the book and read it, or you can borrow my copy.

Here are the five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation: This language is mostly about words: unsolicited compliments mean the world and insults can leave your significant other shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Quality Time: This language is all about being there for the other person with undivided attention and without any distractions. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be hurtful.

3. Receiving Gifts: Receiving gifts is not about the money spent on the gift, it is about the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized.

4. Acts of Service: The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5. Physical Touch: Hugs, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial to the person who speaks this love language as their primary language.

Through reading the book, I learned that Acts of Service is my love language. I love it when Adam empties the dishwasher, folds the laundry or vacuums the carpet on his own. You can find out what your primary language is by taking this assessment. What's your love language? Is your love tank full?